I can picture the scene. My face painted, my arm in the air. I am the female Mel Gibson version yelling at the top of my manly voice “Freedom!”
This is the foundation of this year. A year of ultimate discovery and journey on such a sensitive and expressive topic. Moi! I know you are like why would I want to read about it? The answer is very simple. We are no different in many ways.
As a teenager we feel that no one can understand us. Our struggles are our own and if we talk about them, we deal with a sense of persecution in the eye of our peers. Our confidence changes, our peers get angry at a look we gave them and our secrets are thrown to the wolves and we feel completely raw. We then shut ourselves off. Off from the bond, that we could have with someone meaningful.
As an young adult, we still deal with some of the same, and in my world I was constantly thinking don’t let anyone know, they may think you are crazy talking or worse, again you are shunned by peers or so called friends. Again our lives take a twist and we continue to work on us and thinking in some way we need to fit in. But why do we?
So here is a big reveal, I am 42! Yes! I hit those magic digits two years ago, well not quite and am really been figuring out more in the past few years about me. I started a journey and it is that now, I am choosing to “Be-ing” Brave.
I come across as fun, laughing a lot and can talk to people well. This was part of my facade; a work facade I developed over the years to keep myself shielded from my co-workers, peers and judgemental arrows that a person gets from others. It’s quite sad as we teach our children to beat to their own drum, yet in some ways we are all conforming to someone else’s judgement of us. It starts as a look, a comment and adds to the fuel of our self critic.
In the past few years I started to find others like me. Others that are as twisted, comical, yet also exceptionally smart and gifted. (Spook is laughing as always. She has met them and thinks I am being, not truthful. Nuts is the word she is using.) They too, seem to be on their own journey and our lives come together at certain times. I feel I am starting to embrace my time of “Freedom” now and am riding into the plains armed with fury and enlightenment.
To my fellow nuts, thank you for being part of my life. I probably won’t tell you often enough but I am very grateful for all your quirks and the accepting of mine.
So my question to you today; is how are you choosing to “Be-ing” brave? I would love for you to share with me, as I think we are all on the same journey.
“There is a middle path, but it goes in only one direction: toward the light. Your light. The one that goes blink, blink, blink inside your chest when you know what you’re doing is right.” Cheryl Strayed