Running From My Demons

I began this running journey in November and it took everything I could do to get on the treadmill. I just wanted to stay in bed, plus I couldn’t stop crying to see. Everything was hopeless it felt. Nothing would be back to how it was and I felt doomed.  I found a pair of shorts and started at a slow and steady pace till I was able to work up to running without stopping. I aimed at a couple times a week or even a walk, a snail walk. I needed something as I was home alone and still needed exercise, an outlet.

Today, I spend my time on the treadmill working my butt off huffing and puffing. I reflect on each day and what I need to do to keep moving forward mentally. The biggest is to keep running; one foot in front of the other and work through all the emotions that embark on my journey. (There seems to be a lot sometimes.)

I had to purchase a few items recently and chatted with a friend as I used her expertise on running supplies. She thought I looked great and asked what prompted me running again. She too has suffered from some demons and it was easy to share with her what had taken place and the feelings I had.

“Not too worry, we all have some crazy in us that we need to run out.” Her words just gave me that bit of pep to put into my step. I was on the right track, plus I had some fabulous new running gear as my reward.

I worked harder on running intervals, sprints and as I cried more I ran faster. As the demons came I would focus on one spot on the wall and aim to reach higher intensity levels, increase my incline and run till the water pours off me. They would chase me as if it all happened yesterday, so I definitely need to be faster than them.

Not bad for someone who suffers from other health ailments and didn’t think this would be physically possible. When your doctor tells you are in the category of having a heart attack at my age you have to sit up and listen, too much stress she said. (Spook says it is about time I do listen or I won’t make it to her age)

I have made this one of the most important things in my life, it is self-care and have no problem saying no to other tasks as this one gives me strength of a two fold. The other day I had a conversation with someone in regards to how I came across as stronger. The stronger was not only the strength my body has developed physically but the strength from the focus it has provided and the discipline.

I have a long list of running goals to accomplish now and after looking back on the two months of it, it is starting to get more consistent in my pace and the recovery. I am so looking forward to spring and the ability to take this outdoors to enjoy the scenery on the route.

One more great thing it brought, Mr. Jones has been taking advantage of walking on the treadmill. Good on him! I haven’t convinced him to run though, that’s okay. This way we can take full advantage of the training and get ourselves back into the mountains. I feel the need to yodel and hear the echoes of nature.

“It is a shame for a woman to grow old without ever seeing the strength and beauty of which her body is capable” Socrates

 

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