I sat across the room just watching and seeing what they do. They were getting their meal ready, laughing, chatting and then one of them quickly said a prayer, crossed her chest and sat down. They do not know I watch them all so much.
I listen to them as they go by the offices, I hear their laughter in the halls and see how they are working. I hear their change of tones when they are stressed and hear the change of their steps as they walk. They have no idea I am always listening.
I see the frowns on their faces, the smiles they share and the scowls when they are being challenged in their lives. I see their physical changes of hair colors, style changes, I am always watching.
I am truly paying attention to more than the normal tasks that everyone assigns. This comes from the early years, I call them omnipotent years from being a bartender. You try to give attention to everyone and provide what they need, a compliment, a smile, a kind word.
Yes, I am now tired and some days I feel the energy drained because of it, maybe it’s too much; so for this week I am aiming to try and balance this better. Some days are quite easy but it seems other days you have large tasks and energy being given all around you that takes your extra power. I feel like Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
The other task I see is finding and keeping my spirit alive while working. This too requires such energy but the reward to hang onto it and practice daily is crucial and critical to my health. It enables me to keep the demons at bay and no one would recognize if they were duelling inside me.
My spirit comes from meditation, a practice I learned many moons ago from a yoga instructor who trained in India. (This is before yoga was trendy) She focused every session on not just the correct form but the spirit and higher power. I feel lighter, happier, physically healthier and ready to keep going; not to mention the clarity I get. I have tried first thing in the morning, yet find an afternoon session is most beneficial to my body. This too, is a task I will continue to master for a few minutes of solitude in my own head to be a better person.
I aimed at finishing my post last night but after a crazy run, (picture me running as Phoebe from Friends) a great meal I was so exhausted and needed to rejuvenate. I fell asleep sitting up and was lucky to make it to the bed when I had a moment my one eyelid clicked opened. Today I aim on taking imperfections and challenges and twisting them into an easier workable Rubix cube.
Here is to an amazing Friday!
Love from the Woman in Process
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day, unless you’re too busy then you should sit for an hour.” Old Zen Saying