My body is shaking and jiggling and my neck is moving similar to a chicken; yes, I am dancing; my Elaine from Seinfeld moves are in full form. My voice outstanding, sounding as if Rod Stewart is singing. I think I sound more like him everyday. (Spook says it is definitely in the morning.)
The raspiness at times takes over and I think I should really act. Then I look down at my body, and laugh. I am a real eating, life enjoying woman. I have this conversation today with my hairdresser on the weirdest compliments we have received.
At the top of the list we were both complimented for our child bearing hips by guys. Ummmm. I was not sure what to say when it happened and she was the same and thinking was that a compliment?
We discussed woman in general, shapes, sizes the quirky things we do. She says to me you know it doesn’t matter what size I am; my boobs are always this size; no change, I laughed hysterically and told her of being asked once if I was Dolly Parton’s sister.
I can thank my Russian ancestors for the rack and not having to silicone it up, she is a Uke so same thing for her. Maybe that is why we get along so well, she is half my age, but her spunkiness and frankness reminds me of someone. I wonder who it could be? Oh yes, ME!
I ask questions of someone her age no problem, and usually we are in hysterics the whole time I am there. She makes my day brighter or maybe she just brings it out and the rest of the people stare at us like we are crazy. Why yes, I am, thank you.
She triggers my thoughts, I am getting ready for an adventure and I cannot seem to let it go. As woman, with the help of our self critic we demolish ourselves verbally, physical appearance bashing and do not seem to truly live up to who we are due to our self induced fear mongering. We are more than the vision in the mirror.
This discussion briefly came up last night as well, we are all so judgemental of each other and ourselves; we need to let that go.
When I looked in the mirror today, a tad hung over, I immediately start to think, whoa! Look at those bags, the grey in your hair, and what is up with that? Then I stop myself; pay attention, those things you think you see are not what you are.
Many years ago I recall a friend of my one sister’s saying I was the homeliest kid he had ever seen. It hurt, it stayed with me, it added to the way I saw myself as a teenager. Even to buy clothes from stores then, you had to be a specific size or they had nothing.
My ex said once I never realized your size when you were bundled up in your gear. (These are two of many, many examples, we all have a suitcase full of them.) I wasn’t good enough again, and some where along the line I realized I was more, so much more. Guess that is why Mr. Jones and I have been together for twenty years; he saw something more.
I do have grey hair, and bags under my eyes from having a good time, I run, and my parts still jiggle, my C-section scar will never go away, I have hips, big boobs and I am real; one hundred percent me.
Today I challenge all of you to love everything you are; the flaws the beauty, the things you dislike about yourself, because just maybe they are a quality that are admired by many and you had no idea; you only saw the flaw.
Here is to sending the suitcase to those people and saying you have no longer a hold on me. I am more than the view from the looking glass.
“Beauty starts in your head. Not in your mirror.” Joubert Botha
Love always from the scarred, raspy, chicken dancing, hungover Woman in Process.