Monthly Archives: February 2016

People Like Us

It has been a very long day of travel and time zone changes, so I have decided I will keep it short tonight. Only a few tears were shed when the anxiety caught me but I think that’s pretty great for a first time.

I spent my morning while waiting for the others with my headphones in my ears, drinking my Starbucks and just watching people. I watched those that were needing aid and how the attendants were to them, I watched families ready for a new adventure, people in their own world and children playing.

I was focusing on determining each of their stories as they are all people like us; families, life stresses, worried about their futures, and each of them have secrets in their back pockets; just like us. I read this line today that I thought was fitting, it talked about actors playing the duality -the public face and the private demon and how this is a welcomed challenge to them. 

That immediately put my mind into this tangent of thoughts on how amazing each of us truly are to have the duality that I will call depth. We have experienced some greatness by experiencing such sorrow, and truly know and value what others may take for granted. We learned how to truly live life. (We all may be making baby steps but we are moving forward, together.)

It has come with a price, there is no doubt there, but if we keep going, digging, reflecting, reaching out and helping others like us, what could we all achieve together?  How can we all lift each other up? I already know I am spending more time looking, reviewing and reflecting, that I think it is making me better; I hope. I will ask someone that question and then will review and reflect on it. 

When you go for your cup of coffee, head to work. Go get your groceries look at each person and think about their story. We may come into this world alone, but we truly are not alone. It is always the broken souls that are trying to fix others and your greatest test is when you are able to bless someone else while you are going through your own storm.

“Healers are spiritual warriors who have found the courage to defeat the darkness of their souls. Awakening and rising from the depths of their deepest fears, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. Reborn with a wisdom and strength that creates a light that shines bright enough to help, encourage, and inspire others out of their darkness.” Melanie Koulourid

 Be someone’s light. As always, I am always listening if you need an ear. Love from the cigar smoking, whiskey drinking Woman in Process.

Broken Crayons

I am prepping and embarking on a work trip. I have not flown for quite a while and the last time I had a lot of anxiety issues and had to work hard at staying calm. I am praying that the course is good, and I do not have to take my compass out to get myself there or I will miss it, besides I’ve never been great with directions. I just point my broom and it is on autopilot and poof I am there.

I have packed my bags, and shockingly only a couple pairs of shoes, (ok three and one I am wearing.) Spook is angry with me as (due to my shoe collection) her options are to travel in the carry-on with my laptop and snacks or to stay home. She said she could fly herself there and meet me, but they are saying a storm is brewing. It could be a tad bumpy and I will still like the company she brings in my hotel room.

Even the thought of being away from Mr. Jones is making me unhappy. He is such a rock for me and I will greatly miss hugging him each day. On a side note: Mr. Jones says what is all that food for? My trip, so I do not have to buy on the way. How long are you gone for? Two days, three including travel time. Ok maybe there is a bit much, but I like my own stuff, nothing too fancy and simple.

Normally I feel indifferent, (that is the word I use) to be with quite a few people, but am starting to get excited and if I can deal with the flight I know there are some wonderful memories to make and friends to see. I am as well nervous to see them, as I do not know how I will be mentally while there and hoping my cup of crazy stays in the water bottle I brought with me.

When I say a touch of crazy I am referring to my life in the only way I can, with laughter and comic. I learned here while working with my therapist some ways that I seemed to function better. When I am quite down or stressed there are two things I have moved to doing.

The one is the biggest, OM or sigh ever; in my deepest voice, it pulls from the bottom of my stomach up and seems to relax my shoulders, head and body. The key to this is not just the deepness of the voice, but also the length on which I hold it and breathe out. It seems to work great, but try it in the grocery store or middle of the mall and people look at you funny. Then just respond with at least I didn’t fart. Laugh. run away (we are good with fight and flight response) and you are smooth sailing.

The second thing I have gone to doing is every time I have my self critic sitting on my shoulder yapping (more than Spook does) I have gone to start laughing crazy. Ok, Spook says to let you know its more of a witch cackle but once I do it a few times I start laughing at myself so hard and end up with the giggles. That sure feels better than the feeling of doom and gloom on any given day.

Follow both of these with a cocktail on the flight and I can hear it already over the plane intercom. “Good day passengers, due to a unruly passenger laughing, tooting and cackling we have decided it is best to take you all to safety.” Or, I could have some excellent flight attendants who are as comical, I am hoping for that version and an interesting demonstration of my seatbelt fastening.

Guess at this point there are no more secrets for me to keep. If you are on my flight I will apologize now, and should my crayons fall down on the plane floor while I am busy colouring away to stay calm (I am excited to use my new book!), please pass them back to me. Should one break, remember broken crayons still colour.

“Who am I you ask? I am made from all the people I’ve encountered and all the things I have experienced. Inside, I hold the laughter of my friends, the arguments with my parents, the chattering of young children, and the warmth from kind strangers. Inside, there are stitchings from cracked hearts, bitter words from heated arguments, music that gets me through, and emotions I cannot convey. I am made from all these people and moments. That is who I am.” Ming D. Liu

Keep laughing, love the rooting tooting cackling Woman in Process