Monthly Archives: March 2016

Accumulating Time

I find my time some days getting away from me more because I have someone I am taking care of. The pup of course needs quite a bit of attention, or I should say my shoes do, as I am constantly taking them from her once she hits her puppy crazies!

She is energetic and shows so much life and zest. We were recently talking about how a dog understands the theory of time.

To them when they have not seen us for a specific time, they are excited no matter what and of course they do not understand how long it has been, it could be minutes or seconds.

I have been reading quite a bit again on how to be the mama of my dog but her leader; how can I get her attention when she does something wrong and how can I teach the basics? I have been fascinated by it all and have been testing the theories of some well written authors and thinking I get it.

The realism of it all though of course is puppies are a lot of work. It’s not necessarily the training but reminding myself how little they are and how fast they are physically changing. She could be hitting her teenage years in a matter of months.

If you think of a child their years of diapers, growth; I need a potty, a cookie, can I have an increase on my allowance and I need to borrow your car. For these sweet fur babies they are literally changing each second in front of our eyes.

I decided I didn’t want to miss anything with her and am making sure I take a photo every day to see the changes in one week, one month, three months; it’s like I am watching the Benjamin Button movie but growing older instead of younger. Her younger days will pass so quickly, in the blink of my eye.

I find myself protective as I understand how overly stimulated our world is. She is use to simplicity, with her brothers and sisters playing; her mum controlling what she doesn’t like and teaching them. My task is to do the same; keep things simple for her and me.

Somewhere we decided that life would be simpler with endless gadgets, technology and the accumulation of stuff, including dog toys. I feel more stressed, non creative and overwhelmed instead; now how to change this?

Over my time away, more like my breakdown; I identified numerous items that were not worth keeping and sold it or donated it all to those that could really benefit from it. I mean how many sets of sheets do we really need? What was the point of having so many of one item? Did I ever wear that?

I would like to say that I am not an over consumer but I do have quite the pile of stuff. Stuff I could leave behind and move on; there are only a few personal items that I would truly pack.

I ask myself the question after our neighbours fire and saw the most important thing to them; the ashes of their son and his wife.

So think about it, what would you pack if you had minutes, to grab the most treasured belongings? Something from a grandparent, a special book handed down or nothing?

I see again that once I rejoined the work force my life became more complicated; complicated in things I have to have or do for work, events I am required to attend and money that needs to be spend on the above.

So my task this week for myself is to review what I learned on my me time, of self exploration and how I can minimize things, as I do not want an increase in the household after I purged everything and feel accomplished.

I would rather accumulate more memories of events, hikes, laughter than anything else, I am looking forward to making those new memories.

Spook would love to say hello, she has been in hiding since the pup came home, as she became a chew toy recently. We are working on this behaviour.

“A strong woman looks a challenge dead in the eye and gives it a wink.” Gina Carey

Love always from the minimalist, purging, Woman in Process

P.S to the quote I am picturing myself saying come get some from the Duke Nukem game.

 

 

Extra Chocolate Chips

The pup has really embraced life here, besides trying to chew everything in sight (we think she is auditioning for Stitch).

This morning we did our usual open one eye and head out, standing beneath the rich blue evening/morning sky covered in painted clouds with a glimmer of the moon peaking through. It is always some magnificent painting; the street quiet, the street lights giving me the only true light and the owl hooting in the background.

As I stand there breathing in the cool air, looking at the stars I feel different. I’m not sure what it is but I’m sure I will learn here shortly.

Pup was exhausted last night from her first walk at the park and I was working on sideways lunges.  It wasn’t my intention it just seemed to help the puppy crazies come out and tire her for the evening.

Back to bed we snuggle in and I think we will get twenty minutes before she has me up for breakfast, she gives me two hours and then comes up to cuddle, and tell me it’s time to get up and play; it’s time to start the day.

The sun is shining so bright, the windows opened, Mr. Jones heads to the store for some groceries for us and I head to my kitchen to bake.

I kind of shock myself as I have not been baking for so long and today I had some urge for my famous muffins and cookies.

After a chocolate cake prepped for dinner I think about when it was that I stopped baking, yet it is such a love of mine.

My dream was to have my own bakery; share the baking abilities I seemed to have received. My Grandma Laura always had wonderful cookies, breads and cakes prepared. I begin to cry as I think of how much I miss her everyday.

Pup is sitting in the window watching those pass by walking and her nose keeps going higher and higher sniffing the air.  I had turned Frank Sinatra on but she decided she wanted something older as she began to make sounds. She is an old soul so I change the music and she relaxes.

You can smell the combined aromas outside the house and I remember when I normally baked every week, all kinds of better for you items as with my daughter’s allergies I would improvise required ingredients in recipes, but there were always the chocolate chip cookies available, extra chocolate chips.

They would be gone in no time, little hands coming up for cookies and big hands needing his milk to go with them. Once the last cookie and crumb was gone and tummies were full, I would say ok well next Saturday I will make some more. The twenty year old dog cookie jar; the first item I bought for my apartment still houses them.

Somewhere with all the stresses and  feelings and nightmares I felt like they were taking over my life and I felt as if I was disappearing; my loves were disappearing too.

Today something triggered them to come back, and I see more all the time popping back into my life. Sometimes it is such a small item but I am blessed to see them again. I prefer the wonderful blessings and gifts, guess the other stuff just reminds me how lucky I am.

I think I may get a new Homesense can that says stuff in it and let it hold all that I choose not to anymore.

I begin to giggle and a memory takes me back. My then three year old daughter is making a chocolate cake with me; perfect timing I must use the facility. I tell her do not touch the mixer I will be right back.

I swear it was one minute and I come back and there she is covered in chocolate cake, my walls, ceiling and she is screaming, I laugh and laugh and laugh.

How could I not, the look on her face the sight of cake everywhere and after that we never had to worry about her touching things after I said not to; she understood.

To this day it seems the kitchen and baking memories are what I always find joy and comfort in.

So today I give you the most secretive technique I have for making my cookies. First they are not just chocolate chip, but some added oatmeal and coconut to make them lively and extra chocolate chips.

Next they are imperfect, don’t roll them into balls, let them be who they are, they will stretch out and be amazing and cook heavenly.

Lastly the biggest thing is do not overcook. Most people turn the timer on and let them just cook for ten minutes or more. I cook mine with less time; they just start to get a gold colour and pull them out to cool. They are soft, moist and everyone has to have more than one or three.

I hope my grandma would be proud of my baking skills; maybe it’s time to just start making things again for no reason.

Have a blessed Easter and remember life is too short, always lick the bowl and go for the extra chips.

Love always from the baking, bowl licking, Woman in Process

P.S yes those are my cookies and I am using a Christmas tray. It is the largest one I have to use for Easter.

Crinkled Eyes

With crinkled eyes I get myself up, (and someone else) today feeling more positive and more rested. The pup has been sleeping well and I am working on a routine with her or she with me. We are learning to compromise at the wee hours (I  carry her out, she does her thing, and I carry her back to bed).

She is listening to commands well and receiving praise for all the good girl things she is doing. I find this time around with a pup I am relaxed; maybe it’s because we had children and dogs all at once, maybe it’s age or maybe it’s the stage of our lives; I see Mr. Jones the same way.

Like everyday life I am a believer in routines to help make the daily tasks work better and to be able to really focus and appreciate the other aspects of my life.

The large snowflakes are falling, like rain outside and the pup is mesmerized by it; catching it while it falls, burying her nose in all the accumulations. She is taking it all in for the first time. I need to focus on this beautiful appreciation, her first moments. Everything is a first again!

Today I leave her with Mr. Jones for the day as he is getting a break and I shall too then today while I have some meetings to attend; I will still be sad as I am getting use to a snuggle throughout the day when I need it.

The cats are getting more use to this larger than them pup and she is just so excited when she gets to see them. One has established a closer relationship (that means they are getting nose to nose, that’s it) and the old gal she is still a bit like what is that and have you seen the size of those paws! I have and those teeth, my dear granny!

The other day I send Mr.Jones a photo of my chewed speaker cord, he sends me back a photo of Jaws and asking me what time she is coming home to prepare the shark trap for.

Normally she listens pretty good but obiedience classes will still be an asset as I want her to be gentle but also a protector of us and home.

The week is a short one and I am truly grateful for that, it has been challenging, and very tough, but with my pup I seem to have come out of it better and not as stressed as normal; only one meltdown, that’s pretty good and a whole lot of puppy cuddles.

Today I would say, the colour has moved to brown, some grey and black hit me with challenges in the week but I just keep adding more colour to my palette to lighten it up. I’m now working on bringing more bright spring and summer colours to my life.

With the long weekend I am excited to get downstairs to paint and run, walk the dog if she is ready (we have made it a block so far, too many smells and sounds) and if not we will chase each other in the snow in the backyard.

My goal is to focus on me for the next few days, and try to change the blah that I have been feeling again to feelings of light. I require meditation, and time to just listen to nothing, I seem to get my best creativity then.

I am sure the answers of the largest universe questions will come to me at that moment, and should the feeling arise, I may find myself sleeping with the dog at nap time to help the process.

As I stand in the cold gazing upwards I am blessed to see a bright full moon looking down on me and remind myself how far I have come and how grateful I am to still be here. Now to keep it going.

Enjoy a long weekend with your loved ones furry and non; I wish you nothing but miraculous blessings.

“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.” Quoteistan.com

Love always a puppy loving, soul searching Woman in Process

 

5am Call

My new alarm clock goes off at about five. She starts to get restless and I know it is time to take her outside. Two days, and she sleeps most of the night with one wake up, and is training amazingly, no accidents, I am amazed.

She snuggles into bed at night Scrappy Doo style and is a great cuddler. Yesterday, after a long day for her, time disappeared quickly, I  was grateful to come home with her and play, let my Johnny Bravo hair blow in the wind as we run down the sidewalk and abruptly stop.

She was awesome at work and made my office her second home, treats have to be rewarded for her behaviour and she is getting the hang of the commands, sit, shake, do your business; she is a champ.

I am so excited to be able to teach her and the feeling of a reward when she knows she has done it correctly is amazing; nothing is better than her tail wags and some cuddles.

Last night, I had to share some news with Mr. Jones and as I cried telling him, my heart heavy, my emotions at the surface, I immediately got up and went to my dog, who was sound asleep on her blanket.

I snuggled her, I cried into her fur, I received love and kisses and she went back to bed; I was better, I felt lighter, it changed the black to grey. The rest of the world vanishes when it comes to holding your furry friend in your heart; nothing else matters.

I know today will be challenging and I will focus on my time later with my pets to get me through, playtime with the dog and watching my cats try and be so cool around her.

The laughter is filling the house of the crazy things she does. We cannot help but crack up as her personality shines through.

From picking out her food pieces and putting the rest on the floor scattered; don’t bother trying to clean it up she starts pulling it all back out. She knows what she wants and we continue to work on boundaries for her, to help keep her safe.

The world is a simple place when you have a love of your dog. The canvas isn’t as black, you start trying to add more colour, similar to the life they seem to have given back to you; you’re painting a different scene.

I know we will have our challenges ahead but I believe we have a great partnership. I promised my boys in heaven I would look after her and sometimes I get choked up just because she is here. I still find it shocking, amazed and in awe.

As I head to bed to spend my quiet time, I am so grateful that somewhere, somehow, someone found a dog.

“You can always find hope in a dogs eyes.” Unknown

Love always the tired, snuggling, Woman in Process.

P.S that is a picture of my beautiful gal!

 

 

Insert Foot Here

You know how you feel like when you say things the wrong way and you stuff your foot in your mouth; it seems you just keep shoving it in farther and farther?

I find that before something big takes place my world starts to turn upside down; I become more off, clumsy, my words not correct, and my foot just starts kicking me in the head aiming for my mouth.

Other things just seem weird and then once the issue takes place, everything starts moving back into alignment.

I am curious what prompts it to change? I have had a nagging feeling for a couple days and as I drive and hit red lights I know something is trying to hold me back briefly, I take it and breathe and thank the stars when they are all green.

Somedays I think the PTSD has me so messed up that maybe everything I feel and see is all caused by the mind and then I think no it can’t be.

Kitty crawls into my lap and begins hugging me knowing I am in a different world at this moment and shouldn’t be long before I begin to break today.

I have to before I can pick myself back up and start again. I have to work to change it, take it from the darkness and change it to the light. It becomes emotionally exhausting having to do it.

Our converstion the other day was about how the darkness is really part of me and I do have to embrace it to be me; the real me and try to add colour around the darkness.

My darkness, lets label it as Herb, I guess I better begin to owe it. It isn’t going away, it isn’t going to let go of the hold, it’s there always, behind a smile, behind a laugh.

I think about the person yesterday, my energy sucker, her darkness comes full force, that’s what knocked me down. What took my breathe and changed me.

Today as I shower I will work on rinsing the dark into the drain temporarily and cleaning it off me to lighten today’s load; reminding myself to continue loving myself, continue to take care of myself.

I see a lot of alone time today to regroup so I can enjoy the evening tonight. I pray that I can put it together and am in a good place, I think today I will work on packing my beetle juice sign up, operation embracement has begun.

Someone else may need it temporarily until they realize they too will be moving to the back seat of the bus, owning it like all the cool kids did.

Today is Sunday; it is the day to pick up my new family member, as I drive I was emotional thinking about her, my life will change. Upon arriving my beautiful girl came to meet me and had already changed so much in three days. She is courageous, smart and independent.

Once we are alone, she cried and tried to howl momentarily then she settled in and enjoyed her nap back to town. As I pet her, I could fall asleep as she lowers my blood pressure and a warm cuddle with her makes everything disappear.

I finally decided to join her and snuggled up by her bed for a nap, I feel calmer today, more balanced and I know that my new friend will help keep me grounded.

She has done more for me in one day; I can only imagine how I will be after time. My own therapy dog, my life is complete; maybe she can keep my feet on the ground where they belong.

“Some things just fill your heart with love without trying.” Princess Sassy Pants & CO. (Check out her drawings and quotes she is one of my favourites!)

Love always the puppy loving, snuggling, Woman in Process

P.S. That is actually a photo I took of her feet. She is a gem!

 

 

 

The Calm Sheep

The swirling moment in a room of the constant chatter and discussion was good, the energy was welcoming and positive, ideas were flowing and you could see the reception it welcomed to everyone.

It changed in one moment, for me. I have been trying not too absorb all the energy around me, unless it is good; today it was as if a tornado hit the area or the flight was experiencing huge turbulence. I began to feel as if I was going down; weak.

The emotion began to take over like a tidal wave. First it began with my lips, they began to go numb, then my tongue, and it began to raise up my face, the cheeks, the eyes. I do not know it anyone else felt it. It took me about twenty minutes to bring myself back and I wasn’t the same till later in the afternoon.

I recognized it the moment it began, and am hoping I can stop it in its tracks the next time at the very moment. I began to tap my pen, concentrate, and try to focus on my breathing. I was thankful the person moved on to another location; she was too extreme for me, she activated my fight or flight button.

Someone who does not listen to anyone else, or acknowledges what they say; more interested in hearing their own voice. I make a mental note and remind myself always to listen, be kind. A friend said to me today, (as I am working hard on paying attention); we were given two ears to listen and only one mouth. I need that in a lapel pin.

I thank the powers that be, that my loose lips, or unfiltered voice was not activated at that moment. I understand our differences, I just need to walk away at times; I am not afraid, just being brave.

Sometimes the people I meet may be the Monsters in my thoughts, or the wolf in sheep’s clothing. I base so much on my instinct and my focus to listen, to let it guide me. Throw my hands up and watch for the signs that keep lighting up the sky on a dark night, as the stars begin shooting.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Oscar Wilde

I understand why the person stole my energy today and was glad I was able to rein it in and pull back, fight it. This afternoon I had the exact opposite, I was still feeling drained, and a bit lifeless, forcing myself to be more up than I was.

I order my coffee and start chatting with the lovely lady, she was energetic, full of life, caring, not because she had to be and we discussed purses for a while. I notice I perk up a bit more, I started to come back faster, it was if she could feel I needed that boost; she loaned me her energy.

I thanked her and to her she probably has no idea what she did. She was the sheep, calm and content and I was able to move on after that to my focus with a coffee with a friend; my blockage became cleared.

I reflect back on the day and laugh at the horoscope I see in my email: of bringing a sense of stability to my ever-fluctuation emotions. Hmm someone is in my head and notice my quote for the day: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” Brene Brown

It immediately triggers such thoughts as this journey feels, like a tug a war at times, I am up, I am down, I am creative, I am open.

I turn the music on, and begin to sing to my cat at the top of voice. Sarah is in full form; I aim to put the day behind me, release the last of my thoughts, the last of the emotion and be braver for the next day. Monster spray is now in my purse.

“Nothing’s more important than having the bravery to live your life.” Robin Sharma

Love always the replenishing, scared of monsters, looking for sheep, Woman in Process

 

 

 

 

Here I Am

I woke up crying this morning, a nightmare of all the rest of the things I still have to deal with combined into one and amplified.

It was silly nightmare, but in it was the most beautiful bear looking dog that I was in love with and obviously it was all my feelings, of fear, guilt and items out of my control put into one and reflected to a different dream representing the pick up of my sweet dog on Sunday.

I have prepared most of floor one, picking up temptations and making sure it is safe. I have set up all of her items; have her name tag ready and am feeling ready.

I am anxious but still calm. It’s weird when you feel like that, excitement bubbling but a feeling of soothing as if the pieces of my heart are being swept back up and repositioned where they are meant to be.

While shopping I had to get one of the most important items of all, a monkey; pronounced monnnnn-kay. Our dogs with all their eccentric personalities were funny, they would latch onto something specific for years.

Our first dog who passed five days before his 16 birthday had a fascination for pigs and they always were pink. He had quite the collection over the years and at one time both him and our littlest one drug their piggy everywhere.

Eventually both wore out and a new round of toys was picked up to replace them, another set of pigs. Our dog that recently passed, about a year ago, his favourite was monkeys and we went through a few of those; squeakers pulled out, eyes pulled and then he was content to take them everywhere. His favourite monkey, he never destroyed and our little one has it to save for her memories with her dog.

I’m curious what will our new puppy love?  Will there be a specific toy or animal she will keep for her time with us. This is where Mr. Jones has some reserve emotionally (he is a big softie), he said nothing is better that having our dogs but you know what comes at the end, heartbreak when it’s their time to leave us.

He is looking forward to Sunday. I had to laugh he knows me well. As I am meeting the family and the pups I get a text from him checking on me. I let him know I am running late and the first thing he says, “You’re not out getting a dog are you?” I laugh, he laughs and says the poop shovel is glowing in the yard, the way the light hit it, he already knew where I was. (I tried waiting to tell him, so his hopes didn’t go up, in case she was not meant to be.)

I know it will be a lot of work but looking forward to it as my girlfriend said, “You can cry a lot in to her soft fur.”

I sure can. I think about all the things I had done with our dogs; one loved to go in the car and one got carsick, I make a note to take her everywhere so she is not afraid of the vehicle. I want her to travel with me; keep me company on our adventures.

I think about the animals all playing together and the joy they brought into the house, less the chair eating, coffee table eating incidents (truly happened, ask me about the wall) and I wonder did I ever wear those new shoes before they were chewed? I laugh.

Yesterday was another appointment and I continue to work on my younger days. There is so much reservation there but I know to keep moving forward I have to face and deal with the loneliness of that time as it influenced the rest of the years.

I am hoping that the time I now have with my pup of walking her, going on adventures can be focused to getting through this part of my life. During my lonely years, I had my dog, and I spent hours talking to her, brushing her, playing and snuggling her.

I was so grateful that she would come into the room and sleep with me. It made me not so scared when I went to sleep in the house by myself.

For someone who’s mind likes to play tricks with them, this was quite challenging and I know sometimes I couldn’t fall asleep until I heard the lock on the house door open and my dad was home from work; then I could fall asleep. I also struggled each morning to get up as I was tired from staying up to late because I was afraid to sleep.

I would run into my room, close the door just about all the way and dive into my covers. Cover up my head and panic breathe as I tried to tell myself there was nothing there.

My dog helped there as I would rub her fur and talk to her about my fears, she was my counsellor while I grew up, my confidant. She knew all my secrets and the wishes I had about my life. She knew things I never told anyone including a best friend, as back then somehow nothing stayed secret.

I questioned everything about me, shape, size, smartness, sexuality, I was trying to figure out who I was then; to be who I am now.

There are a few things I struggled with in that journey as it took me longer to just be me, and that may have been just the age, the factors at the time or it could have been my insecurities. Yes, I have a lot of those and it is taking a lot of pep talks from Mr. Jones to get me here, where I stand today.

I was very sad when I moved to college and had to leave my dog behind, as I still needed her more than anything. I went from having someone to share with freely, to bottling it all up again. Those that knew me, only knew what I wanted them to and the rest stayed hidden.

Taking the words from a fellow ogre, “Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.” Shrek

You have to peel one back; with me it is the same. What you see and get is never what truly is. It has taken me this long to say, this is me and I just need to be me now, no more of what others need, no more hiding in beneath my facade. Here I am.

“Sometimes what your most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” Unknown

 

My Girl, Destiny

My nerves have gotten the best of me. I am scared, excited, curious and probably a hundred more emotions. The drive out seemed so long and I was thinking why couldn’t I just zap myself there.

The snow tried to derail me, but as we continued we found the drive was beautiful, just wet and the clouds were full, fluffy, and inviting.

After missing the turn and heading back we were finally at our destination. Nervous, we slid out of the vehicle and were welcomed by a woman I felt as if I knew. Kind hearted, dedicated to all the puppies, and the relaxed nature you could tell the temperament of the dogs would be very calm.

They were jumping a bit, excited, but still all so non chalant about people in their house. The mother was beautiful and caring of her pups, such a nice dog. She had turned up on their doorstop quite some time ago.

I look for the one that caught my eye, and as I am looking at her, they tell me she has such an expression, I have to remark, she is an old soul. They all agree.

Little pup, is cool, in charge, commanding and grounded. I know that may sound weird, but she was in control. I wondered if we would have the connection I felt from when I saw her and she had been in my thoughts. Others have come for her and were turned away.

The beautiful dark eyed girl, was in the crowd of them all, I picked her up and looked at her face. She had the story in it, and nothing had changed for me.

She played, snuggled up on the couch, was loving and then my sign happened. She chose me, she came and slept under my legs, she was safe.  She was home; that was what I needed, and I said yes, she is the one. At this point everyone else was saying the same thing. She was waiting for me, and I her.

The next few days will be of preparation of the house. Picking up items for her as most of my boys articles were donated after, for the rescued dogs; I knew they would have agreed to that.

Making sure all items are put away including all our shoes, so temptation is not there and making sure my cats get a nail trim so that no one suffers a preventable injury. Both kitties were smelling my clothes and seemed good with her smell, so I am a firm believer she is destiny.

Sunday cannot come soon enough, but I will take advantage of the next few days to get the chores completed. She has already brought a lot of emotion forward to me, and I know this is just the beginning. She may be my own therapy dog to help me get through it all; a new story unfolding.

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.” Aplacetolovedogs.com

Love always, one excited, crying, tap dancing, Woman in Process

 

Cold Nose, Warm Heart

The jet lag has me and I am feeling a bit like a wet mop with good hair. My energy levels are at a low waiting for the replenishment like the Mario Brothers games.

Would that not be awesome to be able to hit a button and have yourself to completely restored?

Each time you were ill or down, you would receive a warning and it would say hit the mushroom (Spook is laughing explaining to me, but I am referring to the game) and poof, you complete the next challenge and have completed the tasks.

Maybe in some ways we are the same, running from the daily tasks to complete, down the coffee or energy drink, get in a quick run and keep going; save the princess, or knight and find the treasure.

Last night when I was getting ready for bed, I saw the usual sight legs with bruises front and back. I show Mr. Jones and he said what did you run into?

That’s the thing I don’t remember; I never know, sometimes my body bruises when it hurts, if I sat in the same spot (flying, comes to mind) and sometimes it could be as light as a pen hitting my leg and I bruise; I am a klutz.

I am the winner of the prize from the end of my adventures; bruised and sore, I am recovering for the next one. I spend the morning floating, relaxing, meditating as I lay in a peppermint tub before I begin the day.

It is tranquil while the water is dripping in the background, silence all around. I focus on what I want my day to become; think of healing and look inside myself for the second wind to keep me upright for another day; aim to find the positive, a focus point and laughter.

My body besides being finicky, tricks me on a regular basis. After a busy time, my energy goes down, back up and I think; I got this, only to go down again. It’s a bit of a teaser or maybe just reminding me why I have to work so hard, to appreciate what I am given.

Covered in my new perfume today, it must be French; A535 I embark on the course of the yellow brick road in search of something along my travels. Right now I am not sure what I will find, but am sure it is worthwhile, I have a feeling it is, something is brewing.

As I leave the house I run into the door, and laugh this time, I think I will remember how the bruise has developed; well, we will see.

Throughout the day, my thoughts are distracted by a face; over and over. Someone has caught my eye and I cannot help but think about her.

She has beautiful brown hair, sandy coloured, with highlights and the most darling emotional eyes, they hold a story; very dark with so much expression; I think she may be the one.

I meet tomorrow, a new potential family member. I leave everything up to if it is meant to be. We will see if everything tomorrow will align for me to meet her and make sure we have the connection. I know it may sound odd, but I truly believe that our pets choose us.

“A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.”

Each of them have come into our lives for a reason, at a specific point, unfortunately each of them have as well, left us with more love to share than before. I feel the timing is right as I cannot escape her, and she is still ready to be adopted.

Inside I am squealing like a little girl, as if it was a TGIF night of all the shows we use to watch. My hands clapping, as it all comes together, butterflies in my stomach, and a feeling inside that seems to erupt like a volcano, one that has been missing for a bit.

So tonight I keep the rest of my thoughts to myself, till tomorrow, to see what destiny has in store for me. Now tonight I think I will go jump on my bed and pretend I am a kid again. I will see if dreams come true and a cold nose, pressed into my face is reality.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” Anatole France

Love always, the hand clapping, keep praying, dog loving, Woman in Process

 

 

 

 

Table Settings

The table is polished, the house is clean and the fridge is stocked. The aroma in the dining room of the steak and baked pears are an amazing combination.

Bif and Amy are alternating who’s turn it is on the boom box, I can’t help but to sing to each song. My graceful moves are all over the kitchen as I prep my meal for our evening. (Spook said I am far from graceful.)

Mr. Jones is quite busy right now and I have gotten over some busyness too and can take over the household. We seem to have a system for it, the only time it is more difficult is both of our chaotic season; his industry makes my industry crazy and hopping.

At that point we just aim to survive and one of us tries to cook by whomever gets home first. After deciding what the next few days of our meals will be, I continue setting the table and enjoying my home time, the nurturing feeling it provides to me.

Nothing is more pleasant than having a nice and relaxing environment that I call home; I am truly grateful for it, and the many, many years of memories.

Mr. Jones was standing in the back room, looking out the French doors, having his moment. He was missing the sight in the backyard of the dogs running and playing and still sees the children frolicking, giggling and creating adventures.

The yard is our sanctuary, a piece of heaven; one that as you walk along the path of flowers you remember each one of hundreds that were planted, why we chose them; the kids screaming from the worms, the dogs trying to herd the children as they ran and the laughter echoing into the house.

In the distance the faint sound of the ice cream truck, and the kids (okay it was me) yelling and running as a child down the street with them to get ice cream (unfortunately I found out I was lactose intolerant) but the ice cream truck, who can resist?

The trees have grown up and signify the changing of ages of all of us; the fence in need of retirement as it has lived and served for it’s lifetime at attention. I was not emotionally ready to let it go as there were too many changes last year for me and my mindset was not prepared. The fence was comfort to me, it was security not just for the home, but my world.

“The hum of bees is the voice of the garden.” Elizabeth Lawrence

I will honour my yard this year by taking it its beauty; inviting and enjoying the company of friends and family and discussing with my flowers, where do we go from here? I am sure they will have fabulous suggestions, as I listen to the rustling of the trees in from the west wind, the hoot of the owl, that has now made out neighbourhood his permanent home and feel the grass under my feet; its longevity.

I will prepare the deck for the hours of day dreaming, and watching the clouds create photographs for us. Work through the garden with my hands; scream at the worms, and then say thank you to them for doing a tremendous job; feed my squirrel who has made our home his home and watch the birds as they eat from the feeders, and dance in the baths.

Our home has brought us great joy and we are now reviewing the next phase of our life, we know life will take us on a journey and are ready for the next adventure, wherever that may be, but today I will continue dreaming of the rest of the snow melting, the growth of Spring and prepare for the march of the flowers.

“I like gardening- it’s a place where I find myself when I need to lose myself.” Alice Sebold

Love always the green thumbed, cloud watching, Woman in Process