This morning began as a typical Sunday, up and ready to seize the day, after the morning routine and some time writing on my blog, I decided it was time to hit the trails. Early enough the sun is not too warm, the trails won’t be too busy and the distractions won’t be overwhelming for the pup. She is officially six months and one week old, today! Someone get her a cupcake for this memorable moment, and I will have a chocolate one and one when no one is looking; please don’t judge me.
Strapped up and hiking down the hill from the house, she is overjoyed of the adventure in front of her and the squirrel at the end of the bridge. Her pace is consistent with mine, just a few minor adjustments I make, with her hands free training leash (thank you dog training) and we are pacing ourselves quite nicely. I have the usual fear that overtakes my body and remind myself that I am okay, I give my fears to the universe. (I still struggle with being in certain areas, it kicks in my fight and flight).
We are not even half way around the walk and her tongue is hanging out (mine too), as the sun starts to scorch us on the route back (I forgot the sunscreen and her doggles). Up the hills, up the stairs, down the curves, we finally make it back just in time as she has hit absolute boredom and was gnawing on my arm at the last stretch. I guess her glutes have had enough as well.
I sometimes wonder if people think I have been cutting myself up when they look at all the scars on my arms and legs. I will just point and say new puppy, plus did I ever mention how accident prone I was?
You could see the relief on the pups face as we get back to the house, and I pull out the hose to fill her pool. I start spraying the water and she is in the air, all four paws hang timing as she soaks up the deliciousness of the moisture in her fur. It’s a perfect day for her, and if ice cream is involved at any time later, she will be in heaven. (She got a few bites to cool off later).
I end up with a kink in my hose, stop filling, go back fix it, then try again, no go, and back I go, to another kink. As I am correcting the cats tail, that is what Mr. Jones calls it, I realize it’s such a simple lesson of life. Try, fix, not the correct way, try again, until we get the outcome we so desire. It took me three times as every time I pulled it got stuck on something, everytime I rushed or didn’t pay as much attention, it didn’t work right. It was my investment.
The thoughts it created, the vision it started out to build was that reminder. Yesterday, I was challenged in thinking I was set back, when reality was I am just trying again to correct what I needed. The Dew, one of the fur baby’s many nicknames, had decided it was enough heat and pool time and in we went.
A quick shower, some lunch and I decide it’s Sunday and I do not need to go anywhere. I am dancing, that means, no styling of my hair even though it is short; I comb it back so I look like Danny from Grease, no makeup; that means no poking myself with the mascara wand, and the best of all, I can go bra-less. After a week of high heels, spanx, dress clothes and smiling crazily at everyone, I prefer pyjamas in the middle of the day.
When I was pulling all the books out I found one I had purchased on a simple life. I figure this is exactly perfect for this morning after a big walk, I can review to see if there are other things that I should look at, to give myself more time of be-ing. I wonder if there is a chapter on the ultimate relaxation?
Part way through, Mr. Jones has come home from a weekend call in, and I am feeling faint and tired. I slither from the recliner to the floor where the pup is snoozing, grab my Mickey pillow and fall asleep.
At first I tried to fight it and started to think of things I wanted to accomplish and realize this was one of the most important tasks of the day. The fans on either side of us rotating to keep us cool, the floor hard, but very comforting and welcoming. I grab my blanket off the recliner and am snoring in no time.
In the book, it reminds us to enjoy an afternoon nap or snuggle time to relax. Let your body rejuvenate for the upcoming week. Let yourself prepare emotionally and mentally by shutting off everything; the world, the electronics and let your body dive into the sweetness of the quiet.
We slept for over a half hour snuggled up, when my hands would get cold I would place them under her side. The two of us curled together is how we spend one part of every night.
As I previously mentioned, she would stop my nightmares and I would be hanging on to her after, afraid and shaking. Every night we still cuddle up and lay together for a while before she decides she wants her own space or lies on her back with all her paws up in the air . She then turns over and puts her paws on my back to push, it is quite comical.
When we finally began to wake up, I was feeling groggy and found the incredible energy I had within myself yesterday, now has me reviewing the rest of today’s original plan and we make some adjustments. The piano I have sitting in the centre of the back room for us to move, can wait.
These are simple things that normally before I would not be able to do. I would have to work until a project was completed. It challenged me to work on it in sections and I preferred to work until it was done, it didn’t matter how long that was or what I gave up, but not all projects are like that.
This one, the project of me, has been one of the biggest working projects and I’m sure I cannot just complete it in a day. My ideas need to become focused on the final outcome for some areas and learn to have the patience to continue on in others.
This afternoon while texting with my daughter, (I love technology here, as she is many hours away) I was able to keep her in part of my day and I was part of hers. We updated each other, I shared some photos with her of the pup with her tongue hanging, and she shared her story after her visit with her adopted senior. (I think I raised a pretty good kid)!
I convey to her that I am starting to feel more like me. I have been walking the dog lots, I am working on projects in the house, and I am getting stronger if the pup and I have to be away from each other for a bit. (This normally brought on even more anxiety as I didn’t feel safe). In small doses of things, I feel like I am seeing improvements, my therapist says I am more open and transparent, I feel like life will be okay, life will be what I choose to make of it and I am going in for the Touchdown!
So today, remember to drop some of the duties you think you must do, enjoy some scenery, get rid of anything restricting you at that moment and be free.
As always, is that black under my eye, that’s not football padding, too tight spanx, bra-less Woman in Process