Each day when we wake up, we take a chance. We take a chance when we get up and go out, drive to work, complete tasks that we may not be overconfident in and when we decide to try something new.
We take those little balls of chance and after completing it we build the task, the info, the experience into our memory banks for the future and add that chance to the shelf, as now completed.
Tonight we took a chance. A friend recently was asking who might be interested in going to a class with her, something said go, so I signed up. (Not knowing if I could even do this type of class). My Bff was concerned on going, (she just had surgery not long ago) but she too, took a chance. I looked for some vintage aerobics workout wear to outfit myself in, but unfortunately I seem to have misplaced it. Hmmm note to self to start checking the downstairs closets.
Into the studio we go with our gym bags looking like, yup we belong here (more of the slow walk), to get all the directions on the moves. My eyes and brain glaze over, in the descriptions and into my own world I go. Both of us are nervous; this was a class called pound. (I kept calling it drumming). I was so excited to have drumsticks to rap away with and see if there is any pent up aggression, you know there is.
Up to the front we go and are ready! We move to the beat, twist, kick, drum and are having so much fun; the sweat pouring off of us and in between songs we laugh. Up on the wall behind the stage they had their logo; what I see in the centre of the logo makes me shake my head; the word “be”. The word of the year for me. This is when, I know I am in the right place.
I have a theory that when you mess up in a class and cannot do what they are at that moment, go into freestyle mode and get into it. I am picturing the dance in, Can’t Buy Me Love. (One of my old favourite movies) and if you seen some of my freestyle moves you would understand.
At one point there was even a spot I am like; Bff look! Running man; you know a movie passed in my head at this moment. I was sad when the class ended as it was a blast and an ice cold, partly frozen wash cloth at the end to wipe our faces, was perfection. Forty five intense minutes and poof we were done.
We talked after, why did we stop coming to classes so long ago? After some reflection, we remember, I had gotten sick and was unable to go for months (strength, mobility had become a challenge); then winter hit, which is always a difficult challenge for me. It was far too long for us, we let the time slip away.
The excitement of trying something new is always a combination of absolute fear (that word again) and total exhilaration. I was so glad that we made the effort and found something else that we liked, something else that we don’t have to be experts on, just enjoy and work at our own pace.
We are already planning next weeks’s class and I’m sure we will look like pros. I am cracking up at that thought and picture all those posts; how you think you look and how you really look. My picture is probably a sweaty ape, with wristbands and a headband, rocking out with drumsticks wearing red lipstick. I will use that as an anchor going forward as it will make me laugh.
The intensity from the workout the next day had me slow going and I was ready to nap the day away, unfortunately work was still on my radar too. It took everything I could to make it through the day and then I rewarded myself with a much needed snooze. Mr. Jones was coming into the house, he sees no movement and thinks I should be quiet, he snuck in past the Snoozy Doo and me, we were toast.
I ask Mr. Jones, why he thinks it took so much out of me. He responds, it was something new, your body not accustomed to it and I am sure, the next class the recovery will be quicker.
I sure hope it is as well, the feeling I had today was a tad too much. Plus suffering from permanent vertigo, it becomes challenging to do these things and today I was ill from it all day but I don’t want to miss out on life.
I was having a conversation with a person I have known a long time and they were assisting me with a work question. We began to chat and her line of work professionally would understand about me, the situation.
She comments how nice it is that I get to bring my dog to work. I was brave today and just told her, about dealing with the PTSD. We chatted for a while on life, work and she had said a few more people from her work have been retiring and same thing, years of what they have dealt with is now creeping into their lives and they are dealing with all of it.
I know I am not alone, but it’s not like people where a badge saying you can talk to me about PTSD, we all feel alone until we magically find those same people or people who really understand. She had been enjoying the pictures of the pup and now has a whole understanding what she has done for me.
I will be continuing with all of the pups training and working hard on getting her certified; not just for me, but so I can use her in places to assist others, sharing her lovingness with someone who could benefit from it; whether it is illness or age.
I am grateful for Friday, can I get a hell ya! I have very small goal this weekend and most of it involves a laid back attitude for it, maybe a new recipe, continue working on my sign and napping with my dog. We just got up and she is in her favourite chair, snoring already.
As always, be brave, drumming, Woman in Process