I want to throw up. I’m so excited, so giddy and my hands are clapping together, I am squeeling like a pig. I cannot believe it. Today was a score!
We were up early as always and attacked the chore list of duties on the house we wanted to get accomplished; with clean gutters, clean vehicles, a clean yard, we relax for a bit.
My agenda is out and I’m writing, decorating and enjoying the downtime. I use to spend so much time working on craft projects and scrapbooks with my girl.
One day, I sold all of it. I sold it after she left; to me life had changed so much, I didn’t need any of these items anymore. I didn’t have my buddy to create with, to spend the time with, to talk with. It felt like a piece of me was gone, and it hurt my heart so much.
This year on my journey, I realized how much I needed those crafts, they were part of me, part of my ability to shut the world off, to create, to lose myself in a task and to feel so happy from the completion. It helped to keep my heart warm, keep my heart in love with passion, I had a hobby.
I was recently talking with someone, he mentioned he has been on the road for so long working and is working on having a life. He is building his dream home for himself, he has all the toys, but he has no hobby, nothing that gets him excited. He is looking for one and is not sure what it might be, but is determined to try all kinds of things till he finds his love.
Coffee is in my future with my sis. We chat, we laugh, we are sarcastic and both of us are yapping. You can tell it has been a bit and we play catch up. We venture over to Michaels, as I mention I need a couple more items for my agenda.
I am inspired, to create. It may be something that is for my daily notes, but I can make it mine, beautiful, I can put heart into something, to someone else may seem so small. I am working on re-inspiring all the creative juices in my body.
I also decided to join some groups who share their ideas and love of the same. I am branching out. I am connecting to others, like minded, all over the world. I love to see their drawings, their creativity, their soul layed out on the pages. It makes my heart feel even more full.
Into the aisles we go and after finding some amazing deals I am satisfied and so excited to get home and start creating another day, another week. I decided that I would make sure I add old photos of everyone I love. It would remind me daily of my love for them and them for me; I am blessed.
We decide that we would head over to one more place after the shops in the same plaza. Into the doors I go, looking at items, laughing at stories and searching the clearance aisle. Today, was the day. I walked over to my usual favourite aisle to see what the chances are that they have brought in the pottery I have been dreaming of.
I just about lose it, two full shelves of cups, nothing else just cups. I call to my sister, can you get a cart? She laughs, she knows there is something I found that I need. This isn’t just cups to me, these are the words I am using so much in my daily reminders to myself when I struggle. When the world is dark and something so small can focus me.
I start loading them in to see what they all say and to determine which ones I was going to take. These cups are so imperfect like me. Each curve of the cup is different and reminds me of something we would have made by our own hands in grade two. They are unique, each one not the same as another.
I have been mesmerized by them and now I do not have to order each one in for a huge price, plus shipping and duties to Canada. It would probably be cheaper to fly there and bring them back myself. I still will one day, with another one of her designs.
As I load them in, giddy, laughing and trying to determine which ones I want, I cannot contain myself. I am so overjoyed and am emotional. I ask Mr. Jones, could I have my birthday present today and to get an item? I do not tell him what it is.
He says yes, my birthday is Halloween, so it is a bit early. I ask him not to judge me. He says okay. Not sure what I am going to spring on him. They are loaded in the cart, seventeen imperfect cups, each with a message, each to use on days when I need those words. Just a reminder, just encouragement.
The girls wrapping them up, are asking what the cups are for and I let them know about the designer and how much I have been wanting these items. The one girl tells another wrapping to not break any or I will take her to the dark side. I laugh and agree. Now I am waiting for the plates to arrive on another day. I am so content.
The drive home I am being exceptionally careful not to take a corner too fast for fear of any breaking. I cry on the way home. I carefully grab all the bags and take them I and tell Mr. Jones he is the best husband ever. He is an excellent gift giver and I love my present to the moon and back.
I unwrap each one, and place them out. I take a photo and then take one cup and the photo to show him. I remind him not to judge me and show him. He looks confused a bit and I’m crying, as I say I have been wanting them, they mean something to me. He asks why are you crying, I say I am just so happy.
Apparently, my soul, body and mind are reconnecting to a new level again. I am finding me, the creative, loving me. She is really in there and today was a blessing that reminds me miracles come in different ways, sometimes it’s something that shocks you into living, sometimes it’s the hands of others lifting you up, sometimes it’s finding your own inner strength.
So tonight, thank you for listening, thank you being part of this roller coaster journey. This is my beginning and I am excited.
As always, much love, hugs, the creative, crazy, blessed, Woman in Process.
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