As we sit in the morning light, the dog groaning loudly that it’s Monday, I laugh and remind her she is off the clock today, as it is a holiday for her and only a couple hours of work for me to begin yet another month.
The leaves are beginning to fall, the colours changing every so slightly and the temperature in the evening is cooling off. I know what is around the corner, the most fantastic season ever, the season every menopausal women seems to love; that’s layering season!
One, where you don’t have to worry, finally you can dress light and won’t sweat to death. You won’t look like you just walked out of the sauna when you see the sunlight or when you walk into a room full of people. Can I get a hallelujah!!!
Seriously though, it’s been one year this month since I said what the heck is happening to me, and I reached to out to begin the journey to my bootcamp therapy. It’s hard to believe that it has been that long already and looking back I didn’t think, I would even get to where I am.
Not saying it’s peachy and roses as some days getting out of bed is still a struggle, but knowing your sixty pound pup with the bladder the size of a wicked tsunami, can get you up in a hurry and she decides whether or not you are crawling back into that bed for the morning, or if you are now on her time. I am okay with that.
Even as some days, I still want to crawl back in, she is a handful at times and needs me more, usually it is to get the basket off the shelves, to pull all her toys out, it is definitely not the feeding as Mr. Jones whips up her spectacular breakfasts for a queen and me, (picture it) I stand there gagging trying to get the soft food mixed in her hard food for her, turning my head and trying to breathe.
The sight of me with my finger in the air, saying just a moment as I gag continuously, is really not a beautiful morning sight, so I am so glad Mr. Jones can look after this part. I am officially on poop duty, after all, I am a mother and have been down this road before, insert gagging face here as well, throw up duty, insert face again.
My stomach likes nothing at times, I see something that reminds me of one of the incidents, gagging may start or a thought comes into my head and it is the same. I am really hoping I can tap my way out of this one soon. It has gotten better and I know with continuous work, and time it will be less and less.
For now, as I have been working on my word of create, I have been putting my energy into my organizer, my house and all the projects to have me prepped and ready before the four lettered word pops by, as we know, here it could be arriving any month really, lovely snow. I do love snow, but not for eight months of the year. Yes, we have had it that long before, the winter that never ends!
I had previously been working on a mental list of things and changes I had wanted to complete over time or dreams of completing, as I was slowly taking back my life and each of the items are slowly being crossed off that list. Now, I am looking at new items to give myself, new hobbies or crafts, new colours to paint, new furniture to refinish.
This weekend I decided I would tackle my dresser. I still have a bit more work on it and of course sealer, etc, but I am making sure that I like the changes I completed to my Alice in Wonderland dresser; this is what I call it. It was my favourite when I originally bought it for the kids, but it was my love of it, that I decided it eventually had to come to the master room.
The handles were all brass and I do like their style, so decided to just give it some paint and go from there. The drawers have a lock on each of them so they cannot come out except the bottom one and that is what we found out many years later that the kids used it as a ladder, hence the damaged slider I need to have fixed. Pardon? My husband shuddered when he heard that, sneaky Devils! They are all in their twenties now, so no point in scolding them anymore.
The colouring of the warm grey, is so beautiful and so calm and serene to me, it is one of the biggest changes I made in the room on the walls, when I was working on finding myself under the pile of emotions. I seem to have been working on finding myself at the bottom of the empty paint cans.
The best part is, as I change something, color style, I feel as if I keep making my luggage I carry with me lighter, as if some part is getting dumped off along the way. I suggest you do not pick up anything you see me dump. (I am picturing myself here with a dump truck, knocking it all out). I am hoping to have a very light suitcase one day, and if not I prefer the old vintage makeup case, as it is lighter and less can be carried.
That is the ultimate goal, less of everything, less stress, less complications and less trying to be someone we are not. I think I am doing well with this challenge on some days, and am more apt to recognize it on others. I have been getting myself out into the world of the living and being around more people without my nerves feeling as though I’m doomed. This is wonderful, as I keep creating some fantastic meals and really need to be able to get into the grocery store for that.
After our rainy, picnic lunch and outdoor market yesterday, we picked up some fantastic fresh vegetables at the gardens and I had to start creating something out of them last night in preparation for tonight’s dinner. As I was hungry, after the mud adventures, I will explain momentarily, I may have had to sample a bit of them as well to keep myself nourished.
The rain was socked in around the valley and the drive to the location is one of the prettiest ones showcasing the ever changing seasons, it is picturesque; only an hour from where we live. We were meeting our parents there for an outdoor excursion. As the pup, who goes everywhere with me to keep the anxiety down, was restless, (it probably was the egg salad for us both) we ventured for a walk.
My sis, had caught up to us about a tour taking place of the old buildings and I joined them for the jaunt. There on the side of the road was a dead snake, and my mum was thrilled to see one. Me, not so much and my nerves begin to crawl. That was it, I decided on this walk we will stay in the centre of the road and venture through all the mud instead so we see no snakes. No snakes will be jumping out at us on this adventure, as I would feel sorry for one if he crossed my path.
As the pup and I walked we were covered, mud all up my clothes, her legs, belly, it was really everywhere. I get back to the motor home and my brother asks, why are you so muddy? Uhhhh, it’s because of a snake. Needless to say, she was tubbed once home and myself and the back of the car, was cleaned up as well too. Little did I know, we had snakes in that area.
Anyways, I see the clock hitting the better get moving hour, or it is just because I have a rumbly in my tumbly kind of morning and need breakfast.
As always, enjoy the beautiful day where ever you are, start unpacking and always say yes to the ice cream. Love the so afraid of snakes, mud bogged, Woman in Process.