My Value

The news is everywhere,the horrible things being said daily by people, tragedies and worry. I decided to take a bit of a break, shut off the world and get to know myself again.

I needed a break, my way of picking and choosing what I would like to hear. Work has been consuming me, my energy low, and I have been spending time by myself to help me strengthen my soul to get me through, all the memories. I needed to find myself, she was starting to disappear again, and I know it wasn’t on a great vacation.

I decided to re-embrace the things that I seem to really enjoy and learn more of what I could. With it being October, I wrapped myself up into decorating the inside and out of my home, working on reading my mysteries, a thanksgiving weekend adventure with the pup and Mr. Jones to see the kids, a stay in a cabin, learning my new cricut (so excited, Mr. Jones bought it for my birthday!)  and looking at everything through a lens.

The pup has been my inspiration and I was reminding myself that so much is still a first for her. As we begin a new season and are watching the leaves falling and then the usual early first fall of snow, she is mesmerized.

I wrapped myself up in taking hundreds of pictures of her and pouring over them, every detail, every feeling; posting them into my personal accounts to share with my family and friends. This was my outlet for my emotions, while I took a break from writing.

Recently someone had asked me who I love the most, my first answer was me, as I have been working hard to learn that and then realized what she was getting at. The beautiful endless photos of someone’s nose, sleepy eyes and energy all being shared. My answer was simple; she (my pup) helps me so much.

This month brought on another first for her and I; I wanted to give her a great gift of just being a dog, socializing and getting to run and play with other pups. When I first began the application and assessment, I was fearful, fearful on how would I be without her? How can I trust someone else? What if? I reminded myself over and over this month to have faith.

Her first day, was hard as stressors had become high and of course a phone call or two were in order to check on her. She loved it and to see her face light up at getting to play with new friends and then the excitement and light up when she sees me to pick her up, made me teary eyed. She is happy, she even seems to smile a lot.

Her happiness, helped increase my value as well. I have been functioning efficiently,  some stressors with my girl caused a bit of a downturn, but it was wonderful to see it change for the better. She too, was dealing with anxiety and I kept praying over the years she would not have to deal with those lovely family genes that have passed all this down.

I am so proud of her, she is strong and immediately looked for help. Sometimes life smacks us in the face to make us stop and give more value to ourselves. How do we keep forgetting is the real question? So well this is a whole another area of hmmmm and thought provoking, I decided I would share a few of the photos I took the past two months. Each photo feels like a piece of my heart is in each one I take. The emotion it creates brings the feeling of a hippo sitting on my chest of happiness, sadness, and sheer joy. It’s overwhelming!  It is just an entanglement of so much more.

I made that new bed for her as the other one somehow was eaten.

She does do more than sleep, but that smushed up, wrinkled up face, just makes me want to smooch it and yell she’s so fluffy! I feel like that little girl in Despicable Me, she has so much emotion at times and the rest of the time, it is like she is hiding it, masking it. (Mr. Jones took the photo of her looking out the window, I just love it).

After an outside adventure of decorating for Halloween, and the pup not sure of some of the decorations; this included big eyes of what the heck and a few growls, I actually finally felt bored. It was awesome! I cannot seem to remember the last time I felt like that, so for me, it was a blessing. My mind is normally going, there is always so much work to do mentally, that it feels wonderful to just hang and be.

I hope you enjoyed some of the many photos I have been taking and I think I may start to venture out again and take a class to help me build and grow in this area. I have always loved photographs as a kid and loved to look at other’s albums. It’s a moment that stands still in my memory. Each picture is worth so much more.

Love always, the picture obsessed, bored, Woman in Process

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