Monthly Archives: June 2017

Realism- Things We Learn

Realism sometimes is such a downer! You know what I am saying, when you look in the mirror and see that you are older, when you begin to walk sideways down the stairs in the morning, and you forget what you were doing when you leave a room.  You just stand there looking around.

Realism knocked me in the ass this weekend. I tried to keep it at arms length but no such go, stupid thing! As I sit here on my deck, with my third leg beside me and a realization that this is how it is at times. I have finally come to grips that I will finally pick out my wheelchair for bad days. Those are the days I cannot really walk but want to do things. Instead of putting all my energy into walking, I can then just enjoy. I can still go for walks with Mr. Jones, though both of us had a visual of the pup running down the hill crazily and me yelling, rolling down with her, but the humour lightened the mood.

This is what real life is, no glitz, no glamour just raw moments, built up into great ones that do make us smile and laugh.

So instead of me diving into all this junk, that’s it today. I have decided I am going to live life though my pups interpretations.

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They missed a very important one, if I don’t like it, pee on it. Not sure what my neighbors would think but oh well.

The dream job, yes please! I am thinking we could go into a puppery baconery.

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The queen and I were discussing some homemade treats, not sure yet if she is contributing to the baking or just the eating. I believe she is contemplating that question.

Happy Sunday, and if realism is kicking you down today, just pee on it and keep moving forward.

As always, love from the third peg legged Woman in Process

P.S when I do hit the store for my wheels, I’m thinking the first question is, how to do wheelies?

Hormonal Shovel

You can picture the scene, one from a dozen horror films playing the creepy music as the killer walks down the street sliding a shovel. The music intensifies as they finally come to a moment where the shovel knocks something out of their path. Welcome to my world for the past two weeks.

It is not by choice that I have become this person, but find the hormonal roller coaster is intensifying as I am aging and walking with a shovel seems to be the normal thing now.

Some of you are thinking, I so get this and others are thinking, you crazy girl. The catch it’s not just me, even Mr. Jones is seeing a difference in himself as he ages. We laugh how we are shrivelling up and we say is this normal?

It is a normal occurrence for each person, we just wish there was a guide manual on expectations, much like the preganancy manual. Instead we are inundated with flyers on planning your own funeral, life insurance and do you have enough money to retire? I miss the days of just a great catalogue showing up, but I am interested in the two for ones at the restaurant or the early bird specials of course.

All you hear from others is its been good, I found myself, (some days I am still hunting for her) I became more confident with myself and insert the sounds of Charlie Browns teacher here on the optimism. I am optimistic, on a different level.

Someone forgot to mention that the changes can last for ever!!!! You can be on the hot flash roller coaster for years. Blankets on, blankets off, blankets on, blankets off, growl! Fans are going all the time even in winter, a warm spring day and you are telling people to turn up the air conditioner, its so hot. One moment you are kind and gentle like Snow White singing and the next you are Godzilla trying to crush everything in your path.

Do you ever feel like you are getting one part of your life under control and then it feels like the marching band is dragging in the next adventure at the end of the parade?  Here comes the great theme music and then ta da, hormones!!! Reminds me of being a teenager. Friends are dealing with acne, some have commented no one tells you hair starts growing crazy here, here and here.  Your epilady has become your best friend or you wax on and off, to ensure you keep your confidence level up, and are not being recruited for the circus.

The commercials come on and a sad mushy one gets you (me they always did) or you get caught off guard and the tears start to come rolling out of your eyes. Your like what is this?  You continue to work towards better health and before you leave the mirror you always lift your chin and double check there is no hair on your chinny chin chin.

Yup, aging is great, the songs I sing to match the feelings I have, let’s start with do your —— hang low, do the wobble to and fro. Insert whatever you like. It seems to be all parts of he body, no part of the body is safe.

So even though I am struggling with the hormones I do appreciate being able to say things very outspoken and not have as much of the second guessing myself, I mentioned before I am somewhat socially awkward when I talk to people, but this me.

Now as I prep myself for today, I have left the shovel in the garage and am hoping for not another re-enactment on a movie, if I do have one, I could become the next horror writer. I am so cracking up at that and the movie titles are just flooding my head. I was going to write to you about forgetfulness, but I forgot what I was going to write.

When I found these pics, I was thinking they get me!!!

Love always the hot flashing Godzilla, the Woman in Process