The podcast opens up with the details of situations that so many are living with, it begins a 911 call for domestic abuse. A young girl, aged 12 was crying and terrified of what her father was doing to her mother.
As I listen to this, there are so many emotions that flood over you like a tidal wave; sadness, anger of how someone who is suppose to love and protect you could do this. It takes me back to friends who had lived this nightmare, day after day. Mother was abused, beaten, kids were away from school because they were beat black and blue, it took a long time for things to change for the better and for their lives, for their lives to start again in a true loving environment.
I entered the kitchen and the look on Mr. Jones face was one I had only seen a few times. I asked are you okay, and he shakes his head no. Then tells me you need to hear the podcast by Sword and Scale, and explains a bit. He is so shook up, sad, and crying.
He sits down for a bit, and my husband begins to talk of a day in pieces. He says the little girl was 12, and she was so frightened. I remember being that frightened. I knew stories of his childhood, but not all the details as they have been buried inside him for so long. Layers upon layers of emotions, years of his anger and sadness all packed up in his mind.
I just sat and held him for a bit, and now so much more has come to an understanding with me. There was so much he made a reference to, or you would hear an occasional story, a snippet, but this was way more. The frightened little boy inside him, could relate to this little girl and the horror story she was living.
When Mr. Jones had asked me to listen to it, I knew I needed to, for him. So much was said without him having to relive those days in his own words.
With my job, this is unfortunately an area that I wished I could say didn’t happen, but when people rent a room for the night, they believe it is their complete home and things happen anywhere to these families dealing with abuse. Mothers or fathers that are trying to keep their children safe from the abuser and are doing what they have to, to survive, to continue living, to be the loving parent, the protector with everything they can, sometimes their own lives.
As my daughter has been working on this area in her studies at university, she has been able to give us the stats of these high numbers that blew me away. I do not understand why and think of my husband’s father, and alcohol was a factor. I never met the man, as Mr. Jones and his brother threw him out as teenagers and cut all ties.
I am grateful that my daughter did not have to live through that, and as Mr. Jones is getting older at times there are things that still surprise me from his life. Someone I know so well for over twenty years, shows me there are still areas to learn about. I am happy that he obviously feels safe and that he can share now.
I think this year of sharing and finally opening up on what I see, has made it more comfortable for him to open up. I hope it is and if not, whatever has engaged him to share, my ears are open to listen, to be there. At one point he tugged on my ear, something his mum did to him all the time, he misses her very much.
If you can, listen to the podcast, be a friend for those in need. Her words at the end made me sit up and say, oh my. As the numbers of domestic abuse seems to keep growing, I question how do we change this? What can be taught? Why is it growing so? I know these are questions I will be asking those who assist in creating a home for those who make their way their, while they prepare themselves for the next phase. The real question is how can I help?
With the season of joy and love coming, I remind you not all are experiencing that feeling. Trust your instincts, help someone in need, give of your possessions to others who may be starting over and $2.00 from each of us, together we can make a difference for someone.
Love always the grateful, blessed, heart aching, Woman in Process